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When The Atlantic Monthly celebrated its 150th anniversary by publishing excerpts from the best writing ever to appear in the magazine, in the category of the humorous essay it chose only four pieces--one by Mark Twain, one by James Thurber, one by Kurt Vonnegut, and Ian Frazier's 1997 essay Lamentations of the Father.
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Write a short humorous essay for the Shouts and Murmurs page. Make it about something every self-consciously literate adult and intelligent teen can relate to. Do not try to emulate Salinger, use your own unique voice with all its quirks. Tell you.